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Rich Rubin’s Evil Holiday Message

Greetings and happy holidays. I say “happy holidays” so as not to offend anyone by excluding the holiday they choose to celebrate. Believe me if you listen to the following Audio-Holiday Card you’ll be plenty offended. 🙂 Why is saying “happy holidays” offensive to some people?

Once when I was a kid a nice lady at K-Mart said “Merry Christmas” to me and I said “Thanks but I celebrate Chanukah.” You would think she was going to break down and cry for for that minor mistake. You ever say “Happy Christmas” to someone and they look at you like you said Elf on the Shelf doesn’t really give a crap what you do this holiday season?

None of this matters because once again, I didn’t get a Maserati for Chanukah and I seriously doubt I’m on Santa’s “good kids” list. But I’m SURE you are 🙂 One last thing: This Audio-Holiday Card is for YOU. Plus I’m trying to go Green and besides, my tongue still tastes like cheap glue from licking envelopes last year.

– Rich Rubin

More from Rubin

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