For those not following the “Bean Bids On a Meet and Greet With Scarlett Johansson As a Joke… and Won!” saga, allow me to briefly recap:
On Wednesday, Ralph mentioned a charity auction in his Showbiz Beat, in which the winner gets to meet Scarlett Johansson on the Red Carpet for her new movie, We Bought A Zoo. To be funny, Bean placed a bid… of $7,000. Cut to Thursday morning at 10am PST – Bean won the auction. Oops. He assumed that someone would outbid him, as did we all! Nope. Now Bean’s committed to his $7,000 bid!
Reading the details of the auction came after the fact. The premiere is Monday night (the day after the KROQ Almost Acoustic Christmas), in NEW YORK! Double oops! This morning, Kevin and Ralph had the pleasure of calling Bean’s lovely wife, Donna, to break the news of Bean’s purchase to her. The reaction was AWESOME!
Donna answers the phone with, “Hello. What has he done? If you guys are buying my Christmas present on QVC right now…”
And those were just her opening lines! She’d probably prefer to have her present purchased from QVC than to get the news of the auction. She’s been married to Bean long enough to know that an on-air call from the Kevin & Bean show is never a good thing… or is it?
[pullquote quote="He's so going! I'm going to seriously iron his fancy shorts right now!" credit="Bean's wife, Donna"]
Donna instantly vocalized her distaste for “ScarJo,” so much so that a bit of it had to be edited out, and then followed the news with hysteric laughter, and the threat of making Bean go out to New York anyway!
“The man who knows the difference between hyperbole and parable, the man who busts everybody on everything because he’s so smart, bid $7,000 to be the date of skanky, yuck, Scarlett Johansson to a zoo movie??? And he’s not going??? He paid $7,000??? Oh, he’s going. He’s so effing there! He’s going! He’s so going! I’m going to seriously iron his fancy shorts right now!”
It looks like the wife is gonna lay down the law and make him lay in the bed that he made for himself – a bed that she won’t be sharing with him anytime soon! Bean tried to explain how he was so sure that someone would outbid him and it would just be something to joke about, but that’s not the case now.
“Bean, what were you thinking??? Clearly you’ve underestimated the power of Kevin. Kevin clearly told all of America to let you eat this. Remember when I met Bean 20 years ago and said, ‘I’m marrying the smart one, right?’ What happened? Kevin, for the next 22 years, you get to be the smart one!”
Yeah, so that happened! I guess we’ll have to wait til Monday to see if Donna tossed Bean on a plane and shipped him out to New York to enjoy the prize that he won!