Reactions To Lou Reed And Metallica’s “Lulu”: None Too Kind

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Metallica with Lou Reed

Metallica with Lou Reed

Now that we’ve all had 24 “official” hours to digest the strange collaboration between avant-garde rocker [lastfm link_type=”artist_info”]Lou Reed[/lastfm] and [lastfm link_type=”artist_info”]Metallica[/lastfm], it seems that it hasn’t settled too well. KROQ Joq Nicole Alvarez shared an opinion on the 85-minute long Lulu, and many have felt the same way — confused, bewildered and somewhat terrified by the album.

Naturally, in times of pure horribleness, the best place for reactions, Photoshopped pictures and witty remarks, is the internet. So we present the best of the internet for the worst of rock this year, Lulu.hululol Reactions To Lou Reed And Metallicas Lulu: None Too Kind

First, let’s start with the critical reviews of Lulu (currently holding onto a “39 out of 100” average rating on Metacritic). The 2-disc album clocks in at almost 88 minutes in length. Apparently the length and utter noise was too much for British newspaper The Observer to keep a correct time on their stopwatch:

It’s not a successful union: the songs are too close to aimless, unfinished jams, Reed sounds as if he’s trying too hard to be controversial and at 95 minutes it’s far too long.
The Onion’s entertainment site, The A.V. Club brought Lulu into historical catastrophy context:
Like an iceberg deciding to start a band with the Titanic, Lou Reed’s team-up with Metallica seemed disastrous from its inception…The transcendentally bad snippets dropped hints that Reed’s love of perversity, and Metallica’s love of shooting itself in the foot, had finally reached their respective apotheoses…Let there be no doubt: Lulu is barely listenable.
Entertainment Weekly made it blunt and to the point in their short review:
The bulk of Lulu sounds like your dad’s drunk friend reciting his self-penned erotica over a melting ReLoad cassette.
But perhaps the best-worst review came from author, music critic, heavy-metal enthusiast and current editor Chuck Klosterman. Some of the choice phrases from his scathing review:
[Lulu]’s not really designed for people who like music.
It might be a successful simulation of how it feels to develop schizophrenia while suffering from a migraine, although slightly less melodic.
If the [lastfm link_type=”artist_info”]Red Hot Chili Peppers[/lastfm] acoustically covered the 12 worst Primus songs for Starbucks, it would still be (slightly) better than this.
I’m glad Metallica and Reedtried this, if only because I’m always a fan of bad ideas.
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