I usually don’t like to use the word “epic” when I write. I feel it’s overused. “Man, that movie was epic,” or “Your grandma’s blueberry muffins are freakin’ epic, brah,” or “Dude – I just took an epic dump. Check it out!”

Epic has lost its meaning. The word should be reserved for events that take a person’s breath away, keeps blood from flowing to their brain, and leaves the person so anxious and yearning for more that they can’t help but cherish every moment in the hopes that this memory will serve as a point in which everything else will be compared.

Ladies and gentlemen – The Jackass 3D red carpet premiere event was epic.

My cameraman and I arrived about an hour before any of the stars showed up. We weren’t exactly sure who was going to arrive, but we were ready. Cameras in toe along Hollywood Boulevard, we befriended the Chinese Theatre staff and convinced them into letting us set up at the back end of the red carpet. We didn’t think much of it, but as the night went on we realized we had the best spot in the place.

Positioned right along side the looming front doors, star clusters began to form. The limos curbed and the fans yelped; confetti filled the air as a parade of jackassery stormed through the paparazzi. While we couldn’t see any of the film’s stars at first, their guest list began trickling in and we were treated to quite the surprise.

After SUM 41 guitarist Deryck Whibley strutted in along side Nikki Sixx, we knew we were in for a wild ride. Ron Jeremy stopped by and played us a harmonica solo and we video taped the whole thing. Tito Ortiz ran by with Rivers Cuomo trailing close behind. Somebody shouted at Jay Chandreshekar, but we were too busy trying to catch up with WWE Diva Maryse. Probably the best entourage of the night was the power trio of Bam Margera, Tony Hawk and McLovin.

Finally, the Jackass cast and crew arrived. April and Phil Margera acted as chaperones for the evening, ushering in their young men one at a time. Everybody from the first two movies was there – even Rip Taylor. The only man missing was Steve-O, which seemed odd, but I’m pretty sure he can do whatever he wants now that he’s sober.

Everybody seemed to dress up for the event, except for the Dudesons were dressed up in skin-tight neon unitards. We were able to fanagle some interviews with Danger Ehren, Preston Lacy and Ryan Dunn. Wee Man stopped by to talk for a bit, but got pissed and yelled “This interview is over!” and skipped away. He looked back and gave us a wink, so I guess he wasn’t all that serious after all.

In fact, the whole night seemed to be filled with revelry. No one seemed to be taking anything too seriously, as seen when a fellow radio station even had their host stripped down to his skibbies to do some interviews. It felt like one giant party. Johnny Knoxville finished off the clown parade, coming up caboose with a huge grin on his face. He was rushing inside as we yelled for an interview. He looked back at us and shouted a phrase that summed up the entire night:

“I’d love to talk but we gotta go be jackasses.”

Straight from the original jackass himself. Now that, my friends, is pretty epic.

Keep watching out for our video interviews. In the meantime, check out our photo documentation of the night.

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