If you’ve ever been to a rock concert you know there are groupies at every show, but there are always a few special young ladies who go above and beyond the call of duty in accommodating as many rock stars as possible.
This story is dedicated to the groupies of rock n’ roll, both past and present.
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Tura Satana is known for her burlesque career and starring in Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! But what Satana is best known for is teaching the young Elvis the bedroom tango. That is, some of the more exciting ways of love making. Santana, is therefore one of the earliest groupies in rock n’ roll history.
A groupies biggest dilemma is trying to convince their friends of their rendezvous which is probably why this former Baywatch babe has had two Internet sex tapes thus far with her rock star stallions. Anderson has married and divorced both rap-rocker Kid Rock, and [lastfm]Motley Crue[/lastfm] drummer Tommy Lee. She has also dated numerous well-known actors, models and Hollywood hanger-ons. She said she’s “through with rock stars,” but I won’t judge her if she decides to get her feet wet again.
Famous Conquests: Kid Rock, Tommy Lee, Bret Michaels
As a music video groupie girl, Tawny Kitaen is best remembered for displaying her body across expensive cars in [lastfm]Whitesnak[/lastfm]e videos in the 80’s. Kitaen ended up marrying the group’s lead singer David Coverdale (every groupies goal) before she had her kicks and moved onto Angels pitcher Chuck Finley. She says, “In this business, you don’t cultivate relationships. You look at each other, there’s a spark, and the first thing you do is get married. When you’re an actor or a musician, immediate gratification is what you live for.”
Fast Fact: Kitaen was last seen as a cast member on VH1’s The Surreal Life.
Famous Conquests: David Coverdale, Tommy Lee, Robbin (Ratt) Crosby
Another former Baywatch member, Carmen Electra held a spot in her heart for men with tattoos, guitars and eyeliner. Electra appeared with husband Dave Navarro in the MTV reality series, ‘Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen & Dave.’ Like other reality show couples (Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey, Travis Barker & Shanna Moakler) they divorced a few months after production wrapped up. Electra said, “Even though it didn’t work out, we’re glad we did it and we were able to celebrate our love. We’ll always love each other and we’ll always have this deeper connection.”
Famous Conquests: Dave Navarro, Prince, Tommy Lee, Cypress Hill’s B-Real, Joan Jett
Along with a flourishing acting and shoplifting career, Winona Ryder has held a thriving romantic life with various rock stars over the years. Despite a long engagement to Johnny Depp, Ryder moved on to a list of singer-songwriters through the ’90s.
Famous Conquests: Beck, Ryan Adams, Dave Pirner (Soul Asylum), Paul Westerberg
Pamela Des Barres
If you’ve seen the movie Almost Famous, Kate Hudson’s character was loosely based on the life of Pamela Des Barres. In her 2005 book, I’m with the Band, she let people in on the backstage life that began with joining Frank Zappa’s all girl group, [lastfm]the GTOs[/lastfm]. After the craziness of the classic rock era died down Des Barres got married to glam rocker Michael Des Barres in 1977 then divorced in 1991. After, De Barres came back strong and is still divulging her kiss-and-tell memoirs. “I started dating rock stars when I was 16, and I haven’t stopped.”
Fast Fact: Can you believe Des Barres even believed Mary Magdalene was a groupie for Jesus?
At least shes consistent right?
Famous Conquests: Mick Jagger, Jimmy Page, Jim Morrison, Keith Moon, Don Johnson
Connie Hamzy (aka Sweet Connie)
Sweet Connie prides herself on being the go-to-girl, happily obliging any band member who passed through her town of Little Rock, Arkansas. Ya! We’re for equality too, Connie. She achieved special notoriety by scoring a mention in Grand Funk Railroad’s “We’re An American Band,” in the lines, “Sweet, sweet Connie, doin’ her act/ She had the whole show and that’s a natural fact.”
Hamzy confesses that while she was on the tour bus, “smokin’ dope … who comes into the back lounge? Neil f***** Diamond. Neil looks me up and down and nods his approval … A few minutes later, his manager says he wants to see me in his dressing room. So I knock on the door, and there’s Neil waiting for me in a blue robe.”
Fast Fact: There’s a rumor that involves Sweet Connie, Keith Moon and a phallus-shaped fruit or vegetable. I’m guessing a cucumber, banana, and a pear just to switch things up.
Famous Conquests: Jimmy Page, John Bonham, David Lee Roth, Alice Cooper, Keith Moon
Liv Tyler’s mother, a former model and Playboy playmate, Bebe Buell served as the default muse for rock stars in the late ’70s and early ’80s. Then, in 1977 she became pregnant with the singer of [lastfm]Aerosmith[/lastfm]’s daughter. Buell famously let Liv believe that Todd Rundgren was her biological father until she was a teenager.
Buell on love and music: “I think women have a right to an affinity and a love for music just as men do. I mean, no one calls Keith Richards a groupie just because he goes to see Chuck Berry – because he hangs on Chuck Berry’s vibe every second of being there. It’s really no different. I was really, really very much in tune with the music. Courtney Love and Chrissie Hynde have dated a lot more pop stars than I have.”
Fast Fact: Steven Tyler is considered the best rock star to have sex with; a rock god among rock peasants.
Famous Conquests: Steven Tyler, Todd Rundgren, Elvis Costello, Rod Stewart, John Taylor (Duran Duran)
Cynthia Albritton (aka Cynthia Plaster Caster)
We like creative groupies here at KROQ, and Cynthia Albritton was just that. Ms. Plaster Caster immortalized her conquests by creating a plaster cast of their penises. Albritton said, “What’s wrong with being attracted to sexy men who make fabulous music and are really smart? And occasionally are fabulous in bed!” Well played. She threw in the “smart” card. I’m sure she checked their IQ beforehand.
Her collection includes some prize pieces, including a replica of Jimi’s little Hendrix. Kiss has paid tribute to Albritton in their song, “Plaster Caster.”
Check out her wonderfully obscene website here.
Fast Fact: Albritton started her plaster-casting hobby when a teacher assigned the students to make a plaster cast of “something solid that could retain it’s shape.” See, teachers inspire their pupils.
Famous Conquests: Jimi Hendrix, Wayne Kramer, Frank Zappa
So final question is: Are you a groupie? Decide for yourself using this flow chart.